Craning Towards Change

An attorney I work with posted on his Facebook page this morning that he was looking out of his office window, watching a guy operate a construction crane, and "wondering if that wouldn’t be a better option.” Across the street from our office building, a major construction project is underway (another high-rise is going up in Towson, where landlords can’t buy tenants . . . but that is another blog altogether).

Do you ever feel like there have to be better options for your career, your “life’s work?” I know, people feel like they aren’t allowed to think that right now because most are just thankful to have a job. But sometimes when the economy is sour, this feeling of longing for something else comes out strongest. We feel even more trapped, because it is not just a matter of wanting to pursue other paths, but being forced to stay where you are for fear of not landing on your feet elsewhere.

I know this attorney pretty well, and he is just buried under a load of work in preparation for a big trial. So, I don't expect to see him leaving law for a crane operator apprentice program. But most of us have probably expressed a similar sentiment at some time in our lives. I have. I think that I tend to make snap judgments in my mind, and so I guard against taking quick action. My decision to go to part-time status at my law firm has been germinating for over 3 years, and I twice went to my managing partner and said I wanted to go part-time, long before I actually did it.

It has been a good decision, I believe. Part of what made it good was not rushing into it, as much as I would have liked to have done so. I had time to plan, to prepare my family, and frankly, to pay down debt so it would be a possibility.

I am thankful to God for the good fortune I have had in employers and the ability to change my work life. I have been leaning into change for about 5 years now. And it was much harder, riskier than I thought it would be (I have a few extra gray hairs and 12 additional pounds to prove it). But we all want to be relevant, right? We want to matter somewhere. I spent a lot of time trying to matter to other people and to myself. What at a colossal waste of time. Mattering to God is so much better, and so much easier to accomplish. In fact, you just have to exist to matter to him. I don't get it right most of the time, I'm sure, but he is far more forgiving than people, and infinitely more forgiving than I am of myself.