The American Bar Journal published an article today that highlights the staggering addiction, depression and suicide rates among attorneys in this country. Having been an attorney and in the company of attorneys for over 15 years, I know that we tend to laugh about our profession a lot, poke fun at it, and even complain good naturedly about the attorneys we don’t like. One soon-to-be attorney posted a comment on this article: “Ha ha ha. I read this. It didn’t even faze me.” I’m assuming this upcoming grad has a job lined up in spite of the terrible hit that the legal profession is taking right now, with daily layoffs and hiring freezes.
But it should faze us all. And it’s not just something we can blame on the stress of the economy today. Everyone is dealing with that, and few people will shed tears for the profession as a whole, especially the well-healed among us (“Partner profits at Cravath, Swaine & Moore plummeted 24 percent in 2008, dropping to $2.5 million per partner”). I can here the collective “boo hoo” from cyberspace . . .
No, there is a reason why attorneys are so susceptible to darkness. In the ABA article, experts detail why this is so. “Lawyers are taught to aim for perfection, to be aggressive and to be emotionally detached. They `intellectualize, rationalize and displace problems on others’ . . . .`They don't take direction particularly well. They tend to have fairly elaborate denial mechanisms. And they tend to challenge anything they're being told.’”
Ouch. Sounds like someone I know. It might be more accurate to say it sounds like someone I knew, and that someone shows up now and again when I don’t want her to. To protect her anonymity, let’s call her “Old Kathleen.”
Old Kathleen constantly questioned why no one could do a job the way she thought it should be done, why people couldn't live up to her expectations, and perhaps most often, why everything happened to her. Everything bad, that is. It was all about her, and she resented the fact that the universe pelleted her with other people's laziness, incompetence and misunderstanding.
Old Kathleen was apparently the prototype personality studied for this article.
But, what changed for Old Kathleen? Hard to say. For the first time in her life, other people were dependent on her (children), and new people came into her life (friends who had faith in God). And one day, Somebody drove her car to church, although she was actually behind the wheel. And there, Old Kathleen heard a message that melted her anger and resentment and, yes, hate. It was a message of forgiveness and hope. Now, Old Kathleen was mad at God, it turns out, and really mad at the church of her childhood, the Catholic Church. Yet there she sat in a different Catholic church, and it wasn't even a pretty church. Yet melting occurred.
She can't explain why. And that's not really the critical point. The point is, melting occurred.
And, over time, more than just melting occurred. Accepting responsibility for her own flaws and mistakes occurred too--expressing sorrow for selfish behavior and cutting words, seeking forgiveness. Hopefully, this trend will continue in her life.
The funny thing is, we live in such an outwardly comfortable, affluent community, you wouldn’t think there were lots of Old Kathleens out there. But there are. Is your spouse one? Your neighbor?
Are you one?
If so, come visit New(ish) Kathleen on Sunday. You can come at 9 am, 10:30 am, 12 noon, 4 pm or 5:30 pm. Directions are posted here.
In the words of the band Switchfoot, this is your life. Are you who you want to be?
But it should faze us all. And it’s not just something we can blame on the stress of the economy today. Everyone is dealing with that, and few people will shed tears for the profession as a whole, especially the well-healed among us (“Partner profits at Cravath, Swaine & Moore plummeted 24 percent in 2008, dropping to $2.5 million per partner”). I can here the collective “boo hoo” from cyberspace . . .
No, there is a reason why attorneys are so susceptible to darkness. In the ABA article, experts detail why this is so. “Lawyers are taught to aim for perfection, to be aggressive and to be emotionally detached. They `intellectualize, rationalize and displace problems on others’ . . . .`They don't take direction particularly well. They tend to have fairly elaborate denial mechanisms. And they tend to challenge anything they're being told.’”
Ouch. Sounds like someone I know. It might be more accurate to say it sounds like someone I knew, and that someone shows up now and again when I don’t want her to. To protect her anonymity, let’s call her “Old Kathleen.”
Old Kathleen constantly questioned why no one could do a job the way she thought it should be done, why people couldn't live up to her expectations, and perhaps most often, why everything happened to her. Everything bad, that is. It was all about her, and she resented the fact that the universe pelleted her with other people's laziness, incompetence and misunderstanding.
Old Kathleen was apparently the prototype personality studied for this article.
But, what changed for Old Kathleen? Hard to say. For the first time in her life, other people were dependent on her (children), and new people came into her life (friends who had faith in God). And one day, Somebody drove her car to church, although she was actually behind the wheel. And there, Old Kathleen heard a message that melted her anger and resentment and, yes, hate. It was a message of forgiveness and hope. Now, Old Kathleen was mad at God, it turns out, and really mad at the church of her childhood, the Catholic Church. Yet there she sat in a different Catholic church, and it wasn't even a pretty church. Yet melting occurred.
She can't explain why. And that's not really the critical point. The point is, melting occurred.
And, over time, more than just melting occurred. Accepting responsibility for her own flaws and mistakes occurred too--expressing sorrow for selfish behavior and cutting words, seeking forgiveness. Hopefully, this trend will continue in her life.
The funny thing is, we live in such an outwardly comfortable, affluent community, you wouldn’t think there were lots of Old Kathleens out there. But there are. Is your spouse one? Your neighbor?
Are you one?
If so, come visit New(ish) Kathleen on Sunday. You can come at 9 am, 10:30 am, 12 noon, 4 pm or 5:30 pm. Directions are posted here.
In the words of the band Switchfoot, this is your life. Are you who you want to be?
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