I'm on a mission to fix my feet. I have chronic plantar fasciitis in both feet, and it is so bad that I have scar tissue formed all over the plantar fascia, that thin, long band of connective tissue that runs from your heel to your toes.
How did I get this? Through pride and stupidity. I was running a great deal, training for 3 marathons and numerous half marathons in a few year period. I started to get pain in my heels, and did some scant research on the condition. I believed that it was just pain and not really harmful, so I kept running on it without treatment. I also thought it would be a great idea to run barefoot on the beach for miles at a time. I was an athlete, right? Nothing can stop me.
You know how this one ends. I severely injured my feet because, surprise, I was not invincible. I went from marathon running to limping when I walked in a matter of months. As a middle aged woman, you can also guess what followed: weight gain and self loathing, the satanic twins that follow women around like loyal puppies.
It made me wonder if this physical condition didn't mimic so many spiritual conditions we endure. We think we can do it on our own and that nothing can stop us. We can't, naturally, but we continue to fool ourselves that our way is the best. It is not until we are crippled by the sins of pride and self-omnipotence that we are forced to deal with the scar tissue left behind.
So as I roll a golf ball under my foot to break up old scar tissue, and eat lentils instead of buffalo wings, I write this mea culpa in the hope that, this time, I truly concede that I am not the Almighty.
Jesus taught us to pray to his Father that "THY will be done," not "MY will be done." (Matthew 6:10). And yet, our whole lives, we fight our tendency to do our own will, to believe that we really know best.
The good news is that scar tissue can be broken away from healthy tissue, though it is a slow and painful process.
What scar tissue is on your heart? Start the slow and painful process today. Don't ignore it anymore. It's not going away on its own. You have to work it. It hurts, but in the end, surrender to a God greater than yourself is worth it.
Great Blog Kathleen!
ReplyDeleteI always thought you wrote well, but I think your new subject matter suits you better than your old; and it shows up in your writing.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jeff. What are you doing reading this stuff while in the Carribean??
ReplyDeleteThese few words contain nearly all of the wisdom that I should be using to end my need for anti-depressents and gain control of my sky-rocketing weight, a form of self-abuse that, at my age could lead to serious health problems. Your simple eloquence stuns and inspires me. I hope that I can begin to live it. Thank you so much, Kathleen.
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