Love & War

I never thought I would be the go-to person on marriage issues. Don't get me wrong-I am married, and only once, and for a fairly long time. But if you had asked me years ago if people would be contacting me about the blissful (getting married, getting prepared for marriage) and the not-so-blissful (marriage struggles, separation, divorce), I would have looked over my shoulder for the grey-haired church lady you were surely talking to.

In the past two weeks, I've attended one wedding, overseen marriage preparation for engaged couples, and put some final touches on a program Nativity will have for married couples in a few weeks. I've also spoken to no fewer than five people who are working through the sadness of separation and divorce.

So, Love & War is an appropriate title for this blog, and for any program dealing with marriage.

Marriage is a battle. It really is. It is hard work that sometimes seems too hard. I'm exhausted from hearing the stories of love in marriage and war in marriage. Sadly, in our culture, it seems like war is more the norm than love.

My exposure to the many people who are suffering in their marriage relationships is one reason I was interested in hosting a program for couples that doesn't pull any punches. Nativity's Love & War program, on Saturdays in October, isn't your grandma's church's marriage enrichment course. It's a group of couples who will come together to watch short videos about marriage and the struggles of real life couples, and then discuss as a group (and later, privately with their spouses) what the obstacles are to having a transforming marriage. And there are many obstacles.

What does God want from us as married people? He isn't satisfied with the attitude that "I'll stay with her until the kids are grown," or "I'll tolerate him but I won't touch him," or "I stay married but every battle we have will be a public one for everyone to see what a loser he is." 

The goal isn't simply to stay married. There are plenty of miserable couples who achieve that goal. The goal is to have a successful marriage, measured against the barometer of God's word. 

A successful marriage isn't a perfect one or even a happy one all the time. It is one that transforms us into someone better than we were before we were married.

Please join me and my husband, and other Nativity couples, on October 16 and 23 for Love & War. For more information, stop by the Nativity Info Desk or email me at kleslie@churchnativity.org.

Married 6 months or 60 years? Love & War is for you. Have a great marriage or a troubled one? Love & War is for you. If you've said "I do," this is for you.